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Сообщение от Кит

Можно ли разрывать сцены в сценариях

Конечно, можно. Во многих фильмах ужасов и в комедиях на этом строится весь эффект.
Если читаете по-английски, вот вам похожая на вашу по сути сцена из "Американского пирога" (уж сорри за пошлость))):

EXT. VICKY'S HOUSE - DAY

Vicky's perfect suburban home...as we hear VICKY MOANING
IN ECSTASY.

VICKY (V.O.)
Oh...ungghhhhh!

KEVIN (V.O.)
Shhhh. Your parents are downstairs.

INT. VICKY'S BEDROOM - DAY

Tight on Vicky's face, in sexual bliss, writhing.

VICKY
Oh Kevin -- don't stop!

KEVIN
Just a second!

We see that Kevin is kneeling on the floor. Vicky's legs
are to both sides of him -- he's ducking down, consulting
the bible, which is hidden beneath the bed. It's open to
a page titled "The Tongue ***nado."

Kevin resumes, out of frame. Vicky goes nuts.

VICKY (cont'd)
(a little too loudly)
Oh, God!

Vicky reaches blindly for a pillow. She squeezes it over
her face, moaning into it.

VICKY (cont'd)
Moly shmmmt! Fmmkkkk!

Noticing that Vicky now can't see him, Kevin cautiously
pulls out The Bible from under the bed. Sets it next to
her. He constantly refers from the book to Vicky, and
back again.

INT. VICKY'S HOUSE - KITCHEN - DAY

VICKY'S MOM is straining some pasta. On the fridge, we
see a collage in tribute to Vicky -- her senior portrait,
National Honor Society certificate, a report card.

VICKY'S MOM
(yells to Vicky's Dad)
Hon? Can you tell Vick to come on
down for supper?

VICKY'S DAD is at the table reading the paper. He gets
up with a GRUNT.

INT. VICKY'S BEDROOM - DAY

Vicky can barely control herself. She SCREAMS into the
pillow.

KEVIN
Vicky, shhh, you know there's no lock
on your door.

INT. VICKY'S HOUSE - STAIRWELL - DAY

Vicky's dad is trudging up the stairs.

INT. VICKY'S BEDROOM - DAY

Vicky wrestles with her own ecstacy. Groans. Kevin
keeps referencing The Bible. Whatever he's doing, it's
working.

INT. VICKY'S HOUSE - HALLWAY - DAY

Vicky's dad approaches the bedroom door.

INT. VICKY'S BEDROOM - DAY

Vicky is about to explode. She pulls the pillow off her
face, gasping.

INT. VICKY'S HOUSE - HALLWAY - DAY

Vicky's dad reaches for the doorknob.

VICKY (O.S.)
I'M COMING!

Vicky's dad shrugs, turns around, and heads back
downstairs.